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XMAS FRUITCAKE PLUS
Valley of the Sun Casual Club :: ENTERTAINMENT , SPORTS & NEWS & SOCIAL MEDIA :: DON"T CHOKE IT "JOKE IT "
XMAS FRUITCAKE PLUS
pdb1
7,038 Posts12-26-2015 5:16 PM
Along with the three wise men, the shepherds, and the others who showed
up at the manger, there was also a fellow on a white charger, wearing a
suit of armor. But he didn't have as good a publicity agent as those
other guys, so he never got as famous. In fact, only a Christmas song
celebrates his part in the proceedings: "O Holy Knight."
While Christmas shopping at a toy store, Barry came across a long line
of people waiting for a promised shipment of dolls from Mattel. As he
scanned the line, he noticed his friend, Wally, waiting with all the
others. Knowing that Wally had no daughters or young relatives, Barry
figured that Wally must like the dolls himself. "Wally, I didn't know
you were a collector!" "I'm not," Wally replied. "Then why are you
standing in this long line?" "Well, I've never been able to resist a
barbie queue!"
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of his office and asked them
to disperse. "But why?" they asked. "Because," he said, "I can't stand
chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
One Christmas, Phil and Will built a skating rink in the middle of a
pasture. A shepherd leading his flock decided to take a shortcut across
the rink. The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and wouldn't cross
it. Desperate, the shepherd began tugging them to the other side. "Look
at that," remarked Phil to Will. "That guy is trying to pull the wool
over our ice!"
Fruitcake Recipe
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon whiskey [Note: Rum may be substituted for whiskey.]
Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest
quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large,
fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off
mixer.
Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
fruit.
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the
beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one tablespoon of sugar or something. Whatever you can
find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the
window. Check the whiskey again. Go to bed. Who the heck likes
fruitcake anyway?
Paul
Please enjoy
_________________
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